Barbara Cliff is a minister of the gospel and Associate Pastor of World Covenant Ministries International in Brentwood, Tennessee. She received a degree in Theology in 2007 from the Beacon University of Ministry in Columbus, Georgia. She currently substitutes with Nashville Public Schools, Nashville, Tennessee. Barbara is the author of Seeds I Have Sown, the testimony of a sinner saved by God’s Grace; her first book. It is available online at Amazon and Barnes and Noble Book Store.

She facilitates Keys to Freedom study, through Mercy Multiplied Ministries under the umbrella of World Covenant Church, for those to receive personal deliverance in Jesus Christ. She and her husband James are the parents of three daughters and grandparents to one granddaughter, and they live in Nashville, Tennessee.

Meet Barbara and hear her story...

The Passing Away of My Mom and Dad

My Father, James Edward Young. Passed away on September 2, 1986. January of the same year, my dad called me and shared that he had the flu. He didn’t sound good over the phone. To my knowledge, he had never been sick. Not even a visit to a Dr’s office for treatment of anything. So when he called to say he was ill, that really scared me. I had a wonderful RELATIONSHIP with my mother. Dad and I had a special bond between us.

I can remember when I was around 12 years old. I gave my life to Christ. In the 1960’s we didn’t own a family car. I was to be baptized that next Sunday. Because we did not have transportation, my Dad got up early that Saturday morning and walked to locate someone to come by and pick us up to attend my baptismal service. He did not return home until much later that evening. Being older now, I view that as a huge sacrifice for me and the family. It is certainly humbling for me.

Since I was old enough to remember, my dad would always have a cough. He would always say he had a cold. In my mind the answer was understandable, and I never questioned him after that. However, I often wondered why he would be coughing up blood. I think he tried to hide that part, but I noticed what was happening. He would always still respond to me, “Honey it’s just a cold” do not worry about it. So, I stopped asking him and forgot about it. That was in 1963.

My father was a very hard-working provider. Over the years he provided for his family by way of sharecropping tobacco. All 4 of my brothers helped him in the effort.

He inhaled smoke in his lungs during the fall of the year because he had to build fires under the hanging tobacco, in a tobacco barn full of smoke. He did that for years. When I go the call about him being sick. I knew it had to be related to inhaling all those fumes during the latter years of sharecropping.

He was diagnosed with advanced-stage lung cancer. He went through many rounds of chemotherapy. He was a fair-skinned man. After he was done with the therapy he ended up with a very dark complexion. I saw my dad go from a very funny, strong, handsome, vibrate man, too frail, weak, and non-responsive. I was hurting so much that it was hard to be around him because I could not stand to see him sick. He was my Rock of Gibraltar. Because I had never seen him in that state it was literally making me sick to see him in that state of being. Looking back. That was so selfish of me.

On the morning of September 1, 1986, my dad, James Edward Young, was rushed to the hospital. He could not breathe. It seemed that the doctors worked on him for hours before we could see him. His face was full of distress. He was having the hardest time just trying to breathe. I left the hospital the next morning to make sure my daughters got on the school bus ok, then got back to the hospital. When I got back, he had already passed away. Which could not have been more than 2 hours later. I could not even make sense of this. My dad is gone. I was sick. The feeling of losing a loved one such as your parent is a terrible feeling. I lost my buddy, My comedian, My Father. I was miserable.

My Mother was our big focus after that. She had to be taken care of now and to make sure she was alright. After all, she lost a Husband. He was there way before I came on the scene.

My Mother, Ivory Dell Babb-Young. Passed away on December 20, 1991.

Mama as I called her was a quite sweet woman. When she smiled so would her eyes. When she did speak, you took notice to listen to what she had to say. She was a woman of profound wisdom, of which I never took appreciation for because I wanted things my way. Don’t misunderstand. I respected my mother to the highest. I was just stubborn. When it came to my mom and dad sharing with me anything about life, they were both closed lip. My mom was a Housewife. She did everything at home, including making her clothes and some for us as kids. She occasionally worked outside of the home. I remember helping her can vegetables, and what she did not can she would put in the freezer. She would use cabbage out of the garden and make her own sour kraut. She raised chickens, she would gather tomatoes and would make her very own Chow Chow. We would gather cucumbers from the garden, and she would make dill pickles and sweet pickles. My mother enjoyed turnip greens. We would drive a distance to find a field within the neighborhood, that had turnip greens, of which she was welcome to gather. The owners knew she liked them apparently. She would grab me up. We would go and bring them back home. Then, she prepared them for the evening supper. Oh gosh, she would cook them and they would smell so good cooking. She would have fried chicken, turnip greens, mashed potatoes, cornbread, and iced tea with plenty of lemons. Back then, that was my favorite meal and hers too. My mother was an excellent cook. And my dad knew it. My dad loved to eat. I believe my mother loved to feed him. She waited on my Dad hand and foot. When I think about it, she really spoiled him and he loved it.

We had our most intimate moments in those turnip green fields. When my dad planted a garden, it was big enough to feed the community. My mom would give away lots of vegetables. She did not like to waste anything. It was seven of us and we needed all we had. We never went hungry a day in our lives. She always had food prepared for us to eat.

Mama would wash and straighten her Mother’s hair every week. I remember my grandmother having long straight gray hair. She was gray at 30 years old. My mother was so attentive to her. I could tell they loved one another very much.

I believe my mother showed me how to die in dignity. By Mama being so quiet, you had to literally pull information out of her. She would share just enough, and then we would have to cross-examine her to get the full story. She was such a sweetheart. I loved her so much.

She was a wonderful mother. When I went out on my own, and then came back to visit her, I would just love to hug and kiss her. She loved it too. I remember when I came through the door her face would just light up!! Have you known a person to be so sweet you feel like you could just bite into them? I miss her so much. She gave birth to 7 kids. Four boys and 3 girls.

Maxine-Is full of wisdom-sweet

Jimmy- Is a quiet giant-compassionate

Bobby-Is a Comedian-friendly

Wilbert- Very Unpredictable-friendly

Barbara- Is Loving-Giving

Roosevelt- Is quite Sarcastic-funny

Yvonne-Can be Wild-Friendly

Mother’s health began to decline around 1988. She underwent a hysterectomy and they found cancer. They were not able to remove all of the cancer. She was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. She also had a huge mass in her stomach area. She refused surgery and Chemotherapy. She did not want to stay in the hospital. Instead, she desired to be in the surroundings of her own home. I know she felt comfortable there. Mother never complained about anything. We made sure she was comfortable. We made sure that we carried out her wishes. I remember some outside family members did not agree with her decision and wanted her in the hospital. They did not know that we were just abiding by her wishes, not ours. There were enough siblings involved that we could just make that happen. We would take turns staying with her to make sure she was taken care of. She was never put in a nursing home. We were thankful. We were so blessed.

With the help of the Lord God almighty, we were glad to do that for her. She was comfortable being there at home. One morning, she became terribly ill with pain. We took her to the ER. They knew her and what was going on with her. Since she had refused surgery etc., she would go back home with medication for pain. She was also sent home with hospice.

I remember her telling me when I started coming on weekends to take care of her “Barbara I want to wash myself up. There will be a day when you come that I won't be able to do that.” This was new to me. Totally not like my father’s passing. Shortly after that, I came on a Saturday morning early to prepare her for her bath. She was not up. She asked me if I could wash her up. She had become weak and could not wash herself.

It was all about taking care of her. Making sure she was clean and comfortable. I did not know the first thing about doing that. I needed help. I finished up and she smiled. She said thank you so much. “I never thought one of my children would have to give me a bath”. I thank God for the added strength He provided me at the time.

Mama died a week later. I had stayed with her on Wednesday, and Thursdays December 18-19, 1991. Friday morning, I went back to Nashville to work. Almost as soon as I arrived at my job, my brother called me to say the nurse said Mama’s heart had slowed down, and she was near the end. One of my friends drove me back to her house, but she had already passed away.

My mother, soft-spoken, extremely sweet. I dedicate this memory to you. For being

My mother. I love you dearly. –Barb Ann

We asked her if she had anything to say to others about aging, and this is what she had to say, "Sometimes it’s very difficult to understand the natural changes that come with aging. I think it’s a mistake to try and compare yourself to another’s aging process. You were created beautifully by an amazing creator, God the Father. As we age our bodies begin to go through different stages. Some changes are not too cute to look at, but this is your body so we must try hard to keep our bodies maintained and beautiful. There are enough beauty products and adjustments in the market place to help you out. The natural way I believe is better. Exercise into the size you desire to be. It takes work to be and stay beautiful. Look in the mirror often. Don’t deceive yourself in believing you won't age. Some age beautiful and graceful, others may have a different outcome. Observe your body often during the aging process; the whole body. Even the part you try to hide from yourself. That’s a funny statement, but it’s true. Lastly, celebrate those women 50 and over that’s holding everything together and looking like a million dollars. It shows you are self-confident. I think it’s a beautiful gesture."